Instead of Spending Time Judging yourself, Develop the Right Mindset for Success with your Time
For an Audio version of this article, go to Time Management Radio: http://tiny.cc/4wmiuw
Many of my clients measure themselves against others–the people they know or don’t know, people they work with or who have gone past them in their career. They spend time judging themselves thinking that other people must be judging them too.
These people are successful in many ways but they don’t feel that way. Deep down they believe they don’t measure up in other people’s eyes. They’re just not good enough. And they say to me, “You know what? This isn’t the way life was supposed to be…”
They spend time judging themselves and they assume other people judge them too
This attitude can impact job performance, relationships with the boss, co-workers, the spouse, family and even total strangers. If this is the way you think, it’s going to have an impact on what you feel, what you say, and how you spend your time.
Steve Jobs said: “Don’t waste your time living someone else’s life.”
Living a life of self-judgment and worrying about what other people think of you leads to a life of more of the same. It creates more judging, self-criticism, low self-confidence and prevents you from doing your best work because you’re afraid of failing in other people’s eyes. So instead of facing the potential prospect of failure, you procrastinate or you don’t even try and then you never have the experience of knowing true success.
Do you spend time judging yourself?
If you’re living your life focused on everything that’s wrong with you, this isn’t helping you reach your goals. Think about how much time you’re wasting. What could you be doing with that time instead?
If you spend an average of just one hour a day critically judging yourself, that’s 7 hours a week, 364 hours a year or 15 days a year you’re spending your time thinking this way. What else could you be doing with your time during those 15 days?
This is a habit you’ve developed based on false beliefs and faulty assumptions. You make an assumption that others judge you just as harshly as you judge yourself but is this true or is it just a belief? Do you honestly know what other people are thinking?
It’s a good idea to examine your beliefs because your thoughts are largely based on your beliefs. And beliefs are created over time from earliest childhood experiences. The people you spend time with help shape your beliefs about the world. Your parents, relatives, friends, teachers, church, government leaders all have an influence on your beliefs. These beliefs drive your thoughts, feelings, habits and the way you spend your time.
You can transform this habit of judging yourself by Developing the Right Mindset for Success with your Time.
Do you know what you control? You control what you think, what you say, how you feel, what you believe, your responses and how you choose to spend your time. That’s it.
You can have influence over others but you don’t control anyone else’s thoughts, feelings or actions, so don’t focus on controlling or worrying about anyone or anything else but your own thoughts, feelings, beliefs and actions. Don’t worry about what other people think of you because you don’t really know what they think and you might be wrong anyway.
Other people just don’t spend that much time thinking about you…they’re thinking about themselves. So by worrying in this way, you’re wasting an enormous amount of time in unproductive thought.
You can’t achieve your goals and dreams if your mind is focused on what other people think and do.
Thoughts are Real and Carry Energy
You create your experiences because your thoughts create words that create feelings, actions, beliefs and responses.
Positive thoughts create feelings of happiness, confidence and more positive thoughts, while negative thoughts create worry, fear and stress which lead to more worry fear and stress.
You get to choose whether or not you spend time judging yourself
You may not believe you have control over your life, your career or your time because of the demands others make of you, but you do have control over what you think about in every situation.
You have control over your priorities and your choices. You choose what you say, how you feel, and what you think before you take the time to act.
Here are some time management tips for reducing the self-criticism and to help you stop judging yourself:
- Focus on more positive thoughts about yourself. There must be things you do well. Focus on these things versus beating yourself up. These thoughts will lead to more positive thoughts and experiences. You’ll have a much better chance of reaching your goals and having better outcomes with this kind of mindset.
- Fill your mind with gratitude and appreciation for yourself and others. One of the things I do every day when I first wake up is think about all the things I’m grateful for: My family and husband, my work and clients and the opportunity to help. It creates a great feeling in me and that lead to better, more productive thoughts. It sets a productive tone for the day.
- Develop the Right Mindset for Success with your Time.Begin to notice all the thoughts that cross your mind. Then make a conscious choice about which thoughts to invite in and whether or not to let them grow or simply let them go.
- Choose to let go of the negative attitude about yourself.
A great philosopher once said, “Negative thoughts are like birds in tree. They come and go. You can invite them to sit on your branches, just don’t let them make a nest there.”
When you start to feel frustrated or negative or you start judging yourself, just reach for a better thought and let go of the judgment and the negativity. Shift your focus to something more positive.
This mindset will set you free.
- Developing the Right Mindset for Success with your Time helps you focus on your goals. This helps you become more productive with your time.
- You’ve freed up space in your mind to focus on important issues and things you want to accomplish.
- It gives your mind something better to do and this helps you make better choices about how you spend your time and your energy.
- If you follow this strategy to Develop the Right Mindset, you’ll gain a new sense of freedom with your time and you’ll start to save time because when you change your thoughts, feelings and beliefs on the inside, everything else will change on the outside for you too.
Let me know what you think about this post.
Developing the Right Mindset for Success with your Time is just one strategy I share with clients. You can find this strategy and my other time management strategies plus time management tips and time management activities in my book, Triple Your Time Today on Amazon. Or if you’re ready for executive coaching for yourself or your team, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and ask for a complimentary coaching session.
www.Kathryn-McKinnon.com Time Management Tips/Blog: Do You Spend Time Judging Yourself?